Thursday, April 26, 2012

Pick Up Lines in Foreign Countries

One of my friends and I have traveled extensively in India and some in Latin America. We have compiled a list of (failed) pick-up lines used on us over the past 3-4 years:

Guy on the street:  Heeeeyyy baaabyyyy! You speak-a Spanish?
Me: No.

Guy wants a photo (while staring at my chest): Wow, you're slender (I'm really not). Photo?
Me: *Shrug* Sure.
Guy puts arm around shoulders and inches towards *other* places, which I remove. He turns in shock, "But. . . you're western!"

Random guy in market: "Madam! What country?!"

While we were riding a camel, "Madam! Verrryy niiice cam-mel!"

More while on camel, "Hello camel lady! You are looking very beautiful!"

Woman groping us at the airport as the scanner picked up the underwire on our underclothes, "You are wearing undergarments, yes?"
"Yes"
Grabs the undergarments, "You are wearing Indian dress" (yes, yes we were) You wear Indian dress verry nice!"All the while patting said undergarments. We ran.

French man invites American girl into his apartment after one meeting. She declines. He responds, "What? You don't like sex?"

Guy in bar: "Hi, I'm Nigerian-Finnish. Why are you here?"
Me: Why are you?

Man in market in Morocco to my male friend traveling with me, "Sir! Sir!"
Friend: "Yes?"
Man: "I will give you 20 camels for the blonde."

While walking through the streets of Kerala, a teenager zooms by on a bike and slaps my friend on the butt. Classy.

Not a pick-up line, but pretty epic out of a tenth grade playbook. Indian guy sits next to girl, spends the evening rubbing her side with his elbow. Expects her to know what's happening.

In a club, awkward man pursues friend, looks deeply in her eyes and mouths along with the lyrics, "And tonight I'm f***ing you!"
No, no you're not.

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